I’ve always prided myself on my ability to see the potential in people and situations. I can wander into a dilapidated house and I see not not the broken floorboards but what it’ll look like after a year of renovations. I can see the the basis for growth and change. But the downside of vision is sometimes you forget about the reality. That potential might be there, but in reality it’s just a dusty heap.
I feel like I’ve grown a lot in the last few months. I suppose we’re always learning more, or at least that’s the goal, and even in New York, where sometimes the day to day feels like the same old thing, there’s a current of change that is palpable. After always seeing the potential in people and getting burned, I think I’ve finally had my “Aha!” moment. Second and third and fourth chances deliver the same results because while the potential is there, the reality is that change takes time. And sometimes it’s never going to happen.
I’ve learned that you can have all the love and respect in the world for someone, but that person might simply not be built the same way you are. They don’t process things the same way, and while that’s fine and dandy, sometimes the only solution is to remove yourself from the situation. Wish them well and send them along on their own journey.
As Spring starts to bloom here in the city — my hydrangea finally has electric green buds all over it — I’m challenging myself to finally speak my mind, always with compassion, of course, but to force myself to bow out of situations that constantly burn me. What’s the point in wasting energy, you know? Maybe it sounds negative or bitter, but that’s exactly the opposite of how I feel right now. It’s almost like a burden is lifted, giving myself the permission to just peace out of toxic relationships when I’ve had enough.
Last year was a rough one, but 2015 is shaping up to be pretty great, and I’m looking forward to the new season. Spring and then before you know it summer will be here, and I couldn’t be more excited. I’m looking to lessen the amount of other people’s baggage I’m forced to carry so I can finally just be in the moment. Or at least that’s the goal.